Well we are after a good start. The attachment therapist will see him on Thursday for an initial work up evaluation. In the meantime he quizzed us both today on the behaviors we observed with him in China. He praised us for doing things right and setting boundaries with him right away . That helps them to feel secure and safe. Then they learn they can trust you to be consistent with boundaries. It also shows them who is the boss. We are.
He says, when he has clients meet with him and learn how to foster healthy attachment BEFORE they go to China to get their Child , it saves them a year of therapy with their child.
I kid you not! Not to mention he says it saves them a great deal of frustration!
Matthew has been doing really well, only a few meltdowns, and 2 time outs, in the last two weeks we have had him. He fits in to the family as though he has always been there. So strange to think that today marks 2 weeks since he became a member of our family. He has taken a shine to Sam (our 13 year old) and was calling him San today before we finally figured out what he wanted. Stephen left all day for cub scout day camp and he kept asking him where he was.
SO I told him that Stephen would be back soon. " Stephen Dung e shaw quay lie" (phonetic not real pin yin)
In any event we still have to work on helping him attach to us, but since he was well attached to his foster mom it will be a lot easier than our child who came from the orphanage and never had a family. Or the one son who was anxiously attached to his foster mom, and was never really secure and at peace. Probably because he was ill a lot as a baby.
So hats off to you parents who are getting educated BEFORE you go to China.
I do plan to get word lists printed here to give you some power in managing your children while there. It makes a world of difference when you have some language to help them and YOU!'
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